Katana Sword Stabbing Ends 2,000 Consecutive Days Without Katana Sword Stabbing Incident
Following a ceremony to commemorate 2,000 days without a Katana sword stabbing, Coma resident, Paul Peterson was accidentally stabbed by a Katana sword at Banjo’s Pancake and Oat House yesterday morning.
"It was a real mess," Coma police chief, Raleigh Fitzsimmons, said. "The worse part is that we have to change the sign we keep near the highway back to zero days without a Katana sword stabbing incident."
Peterson was in the pancake line at the popular all-you-can eat restaurant when he accidentally backed into a Katana sword that was propped up against a chair. The blade entered Peterson just below his ribcage. The incident occurred just moments after Coma mayor, Dave Anderson, celebrated 2,000 days without a Katana sword stabbing by giving a short speech and cutting a sword-shaped cake.
After finishing his pancakes, Peterson was rushed to the hospital.
"This whole thing is just another reminder of all the bad things that happen in this town," Peterson said. "This is a town where people get stabbed by fancy Japan swords when standing in line to eat pancakes and minding their own business. I hate this place."
Fitzsimmons said they had no leads on who left the sword in such a precarious position. The police chief added it was unlikely an investigation would take place.
"People are pretty upset about the whole thing," Fitzsimmons said. "I think we should just change the highway sign to read ‘two-thousand days without a criminally-motivated Katana sword stabbing’, but that’s probably just splitting hairs at this point."
Some town members said they remain optimistic that the community can beat it’s record of 2,000 days, but admit it might take a lot of work and extra caution.
To learn more about the town of Coma, visit http://www.townofcoma.com/coma